I’ve been feeling really tired recently. The constant headache and lethargy won’t go away. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, the constant stress of school, or even both. They’re definitely not mutually exclusive.
Anyway, something’s been on my mind lately, and that is the future. In my case, it’s particularly what I would be doing come summer break. I’m at a crossroads right now as to what I should do. Should I pursue an internship that guarantees me a job before I graduate, or should I spend the two months travelling and taking a real break for once?
The logical part of me understands that it is stupid to even consider trading in the prospect of a secure and high-paying job even before graduation with two months’ worth of travel. But at the same time, the not so logical part of me keeps telling me to give myself a break. For some context, ever since I started college, I’ve never had a full summer break. My first summer break was spent taking and advancing classes. My second summer break was spent in an office because of my internship. This summer will be the summer wherein most of my peers are getting internships. So you can imagine the pressure for me to conform to the standard. Yet I know that once I give up this summer break, and once I graduate college, there will be no breaks for me to go back to. I will have to start working for half of my remaining life, with no designated long breaks. I feel like it’s a now or never situation. My left brain and my right brain are thinking two different but very valid things.
There is a saying I heard somewhere that goes like this: “When you are young, you have time and energy, but no money. When you start working, you have energy and money, but no time. When you are old, you have money and time, but no energy.” I feel that at this point in my life, I should make use of my time wisely while I still have it. But at the same time, it is very difficult for me to let go of the prospect of a stable and high paying job right after graduation. My long term goal is definitely to earn enough money so I can do what I want and travel. But when that time comes, will I even have the time to do so?
I’m really conflicted about this. If anyone can offer me some advice, I would really appreciate it!
All the best,